Wednesday, May 6, 2009

How am I doing?

I think the question about how I am doing is the most common question asked, and mostly asked very sincerely. So I thought I would try to answer as well as I can.

Right now I am probably overall doing the best I have been since January. I am gaining strength. My headache continues to be tolerable. The headache is probably a more bothersome headache for most people but I can deal with it and as long as I stay away from noisy situations and keep the tv volume quite low I can have that on in the room. My stomach can feel just a little achy but very livable and it can become painful enough that I can barely walk--all throughout each day. The ringing in my ears is becoming louder. Sometimes it amazes me that others can't hear the whistle that I am hearing. :) The new medication has started making me more and more nauseated and causing some gi problems so I am going to try it at half a dose to see if that is more tolerable. I am willing to stick that out b/c I can still eat parts of the day and it isn't as intensely nauseating as the med I had to quit.

My attitude goes up and down. I really try to focus on staying positive and remembering that God is fully in control. However, even though my strength is improving, I can probably only do about as much during my full day as I did pre-illness in an hour without thinking about it. So my best since January isn't all that impressive in comparison to the normal person. That can be highly frustrating and then depressing. Sometimes I think that when I am doing "better" I get more frustrated because I can think and see what I can't do. Today Kyle went away for a show for Pizza Fresco that we had hoped to go away to as a family for our first time away in a very long time. I had looked forward to a family time so much but last week we knew that there was no way that I could handle the trip so he went alone.

So I continue to work hard on living day by day, taking walks--now to the end of the block and back--and doing what I can to get stronger. I am guessing I will hear from the ns on Friday. Thank you for reading today.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Cindy,

I'm still following your blog and praying for you every day! This post really struck me because lately I've been grumbling about how many activities and projects are packed into the last 3 weeks of school. Thank you for reminding me of everything I take for granted.
Praying that the meds will do their job and you will continue to gain strength.

In Him,
Barb Tazelaar

Anonymous said...

thinking of you today Cindy and everyday. through Him...

Anonymous said...

Cindy,
We continue to pray daily for you and your family. I hope your ns has some answers for you. One day at a time is all any of us can do! Keep trusting in the Lord. He will carry you through.
Take Care!
Joyce

Mary and Lyle said...

Cindy,

Praying for you daily over here as well! Here is a verse that gave me encouragement today as Jon and I read it in our homeschooling: Jeremiah 9:23 and 24 "Thus saith the Lord, Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches: But let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth me, that I am the Lord which exercise lovingkindness, judgement, and righteousness, in the earth: for in these things I delight saith the Lord." It is so good for me to remember when I am frustrated what God desires most of me is that I understand and know Him. We will never understand and know Him completely on this earth nor will we understand why he brings such challenges and heartache into our lives, but we can seek, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to truly understand and know Him as much as we are able on this earth. Love you!

Mary