Wednesday

I heard from the neurologist today.  I had left a message on Monday but assumed that I may not hear right away since they are in Baltimore.  The PA called today and doubled the medication that I have started to see if it will control things a little better. It will start in the morning and I anticipate it will take a few days before I see any change.  I am hoping that it will better control the headache as well as the side effects.  The days typically start better but I deteriorate as the day goes by.  Evenings can be challenging.  Again, I have been much worse but this is challenging.

Sunday

"Worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness."  Do we always remember that when we worship in church that we are entering His house in the splendor of His holiness?  Quite an incredible yet sobering reminder of our responsibility and privilege when we enter God's house each time to worship Him.

I continue to struggle a bit.  Again, not as bad as I have been in the past so I hate to complain.  However the situation is becoming a little frustrating so I plan tomorrow to call to see if I can bump the dose up of the current medication.  There are positives and negatives of this drug in comparison to the old.  If I can get the headache a little more controlled and some of the symptoms that go with it, I would prefer this new medication.  In the morning I don't feel as groggy and I am glad that I don't sleep so deeply that I don't hear anything.  My digestive system seems to be working better and in that respect I feel better.  I can't say that it is helping with my strength improving but I am still trying to give it a little time.  The negative is that it is not controlling my headache or the symptoms like the ringing in my ears as well as the previous drug. 

Life is incredibly busy so for all those that email me and things I apologize for not responding or being in communication as I would like.  Work is super busy since we are still short staffed and it is hard to keep up with all of the kids needing to go in a variety of directions.  I still have to rest for a period of time every day or I pay dearly.  That is becoming more frustrating as well.  There are so very many things that I need to get done that are not getting done and I'm not sure what to do about it. So I need to continue just trusting the Lord has a plan and shut my eyes at the messes around the house. :)

I am going back to Baltimore in December for a few days to see both the neurologist and gynecologic oncologist.  It will be a quick trip flying out on Saturday, seeing doctors on Monday and flying home Tuesday.  Hopefully I get a good report and it will be the last trip for a long time.  The good news is that since I was able to buy plane tickets a ways in advance (Kyle is going with me) the price of both tickets this time were about half the price of one ticket the last couple times that we flew. 

I have been so blessed in many ways.  So again I hate to gripe about the challenges that continue.  However, as a few have reminded me, this is the place that I need to write how things are really going and not sugar coating the truth so this is the reality of how things are going.  Thank you to so many for continued prayers.  The Lord has been so gracious and merciful to us. 

Monday

Well, the transition of decreasing of the medication this weekend went much better!  I could still feel it, but I overall felt much better than I have the last few times.  So now I am down to 10 mg and only have one more decrease and that will be eliminating the old drug Friday night.  So I am finally about there!

So far it seems that the new drug is somewhat effective.  I suspect I will be going up a few more times because the headache isn't as well controlled and the ringing in my ears is pretty loud yet.  I haven't been able to see an improvement in strength or energy but I am willing to give that time.

It sometimes amazes me that I am doing as well as I am.  I really never thought that I would attain this level of health even though I am not fully healed.  It is such a blessing to be able to do some normal things each week.  The Lord has been faithful to our family and we have so much to be thankful for!

Tuesday

I am doing a little better today, for which I am very thankful!  Boy, going back into those headaches is difficult again.  It seems that there is a delay of a day after decreasing the dose of the "old" medication before I hit a wall and then struggle for a few days.  We'll see how tomorrow goes but thankful today was better.

Friday

I should be writing a little more regularly.  The days have been up and down.  A few of the days haven't been good at all and some days a little better.  Today is probably one of the better days that I've had, and I am praying that it perhaps may be the addition of the new medication that is helping.  My head is still hurting more, but not as badly as it was the previous few days.  My ears are still ringing rather loudly, but that is tolerable if my headache stays a little more controlled.  So I continue to take things day by day.  Tonight I take a 10 mg decrease again in the older drug so it will be "interesting" to see what happens the next few days.

tuesday

Just a quick note.  Thankfully today was a little better than yesterday.  Not great, but more tolerable.  I heard from the doctors office and he is going to let me start the new drug now and then increase it as I decrease the other.  Hopefully that will be effective.  No guarantees that it will work but there never are guarantees in life except knowing that the Lord is directing my every step.  That is truly a comfort!  Sounds like I will need to make a trip out there and will start looking at tickets for early December is the way it is looking right now.

Monday

Things are not going in the right direction.  It is honestly quite frightening to me right now even though most likely if I increase the current drug back to where I was I would get back to where I had been.  It is difficult to know whether it is best to continue to try to wean off of this drug so that I can try the new one.  I am afraid of the headache taking over my life again, but I so badly want to gain more strength!  I did leave a message for the doctor's office to call so I will wait to see what he has to say.

Hopefully today is just a bad day and tomomorrow I will wake up and do a little better.  It just seems like the headache is gradually increasing but more pronounced today than it has been for some time.  My ears are ringing very loudly again, too, which I can handle on its own but it is usually not a good sign. 

I will continue trusting the Lord has a plan and that He will work it out through the doctor's decisions.