Today I finally heard from the doctor. Unfortunately, they were confused and wondering when I would be coming in for an appointment for the results. I explained again that I would like to find out the results by phone and if I need surgery I will go back there. So, even though they received the ultrasound last Thursday, the doctor probably won't look at it until Thursday or Friday. At least I know they have it. It will be nice to put this behind me one way or another.
I continue to do well overall. I apologize to many in that I have not been good with communication. Each day seems to fly by so quickly and with limited energy I just don't get some of those things done as well as I should.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
Friday
Right now I would describe myself as just plain tired! :) It has been a challenge figuring things out at the office and needing to learn quickly since we are now short staffed. The kids have been busy and even if I am not running all over with them, it is just exhausting. It is a blessing to be here and a part of it but I look forward to being closer to full strength so that it isn't so overwhelming. I know it hasn't been so long, but I do wonder if my strength will ever completely return. Time will tell.
I still haven't heard from the doctor about my abdominal issue. I checked with the office that did the ultrasound and they weren't able to send the ultrasound electronically as they had hoped so it was mailed. If I don't hear the beginning of next week I may need to get another copy and Fed Ex it. Mail between here and there has not been so reliable in the past. We are pretty good at the waiting game, though. We've had lots of experience in that! :)
This week I finally decided to start going out a bit without my hats. The scars still show, but I don't think they are quite as startling as they were. I still get some interesting looks but I do when I am wearing the hats, too, so that is okay. Progress! Now that it has cooled down again I might wear them a little more. It is amazing how much "insulation" hair gives!
I still haven't heard from the doctor about my abdominal issue. I checked with the office that did the ultrasound and they weren't able to send the ultrasound electronically as they had hoped so it was mailed. If I don't hear the beginning of next week I may need to get another copy and Fed Ex it. Mail between here and there has not been so reliable in the past. We are pretty good at the waiting game, though. We've had lots of experience in that! :)
This week I finally decided to start going out a bit without my hats. The scars still show, but I don't think they are quite as startling as they were. I still get some interesting looks but I do when I am wearing the hats, too, so that is okay. Progress! Now that it has cooled down again I might wear them a little more. It is amazing how much "insulation" hair gives!
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Tuesday
Several days have passed since I last posted. I have been holding off hoping that I would hear from the doctor but I still haven't. I continue to be optimistic and will post as soon as I hear from him.
I continue to do very well in regards to my head. Yes, the headache is still there but it is minor and I would be thrilled if it stays like this or even gets better. My strength is slower in coming. I know that it will just take.
I have had some time since feeling better to think a bit about life in general. With my head feeling better, I am finding that I am noticing more things. My house hasn't stayed as neat and clean as I would normally like. I am more aware of conflicts and problems where before I'm not sure if I just was unaware or if I was blocking things because I couldn't deal with it. The house not being as clean and neat as I would like just isn't such a big deal--it might bother me but it isn't a priority. Dealing with some challenges my kids are having is a much bigger deal.
As Americans, we put such a big emphasis on "things" that are precious, things that we keep up so nicely, but things that in reality are not important! We don't take our money or precious "things" with us when we die. Being conservative about spending habits is one thing, but becoming obsessed with money and things is quite another. Our relationship with the Lord and with family and friends really should be our top priority. Why focus on stuff that "will pass away" in time?
I am thankful that my ill health has made things more clear to me. Again, I wouldn't have chosen this path, but it has been a walk in which I have learned so much.
I continue to do very well in regards to my head. Yes, the headache is still there but it is minor and I would be thrilled if it stays like this or even gets better. My strength is slower in coming. I know that it will just take.
I have had some time since feeling better to think a bit about life in general. With my head feeling better, I am finding that I am noticing more things. My house hasn't stayed as neat and clean as I would normally like. I am more aware of conflicts and problems where before I'm not sure if I just was unaware or if I was blocking things because I couldn't deal with it. The house not being as clean and neat as I would like just isn't such a big deal--it might bother me but it isn't a priority. Dealing with some challenges my kids are having is a much bigger deal.
As Americans, we put such a big emphasis on "things" that are precious, things that we keep up so nicely, but things that in reality are not important! We don't take our money or precious "things" with us when we die. Being conservative about spending habits is one thing, but becoming obsessed with money and things is quite another. Our relationship with the Lord and with family and friends really should be our top priority. Why focus on stuff that "will pass away" in time?
I am thankful that my ill health has made things more clear to me. Again, I wouldn't have chosen this path, but it has been a walk in which I have learned so much.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Thursday
I had the ultrasound this morning. The tech wasn't able to tell me a lot but she did say that the complex cyst is still there but she suspected it was smaller than 5 cm. My first hope was that it would be gone. This seems like the second to the best, though, and I am optimistic. It seems that if the cyst is shrinking rather than growing, I shouldn't need to have it removed. We'll see what the doctor has to say, and that will probably be next week.
Life has been very busy, and almost too busy for me. I honestly am feeling pretty overwhelmed. There doesn't seem to be much that I can do to change the situation, though, so I am really trying to just concentrate on one day at a time. It seems like I can handle a half day of work and then rest so that I am prepared for the kids to come home from school. The harder part is as the day wanes, I wear out. So evening activities are a challenge even though I really enjoy going to see the kids in their various activities. But each evening seems to slow me down the next day and this week feels like I am struggling to keep going. One of those things I just need to deal with knowing that it will gradually get better.
Life has been very busy, and almost too busy for me. I honestly am feeling pretty overwhelmed. There doesn't seem to be much that I can do to change the situation, though, so I am really trying to just concentrate on one day at a time. It seems like I can handle a half day of work and then rest so that I am prepared for the kids to come home from school. The harder part is as the day wanes, I wear out. So evening activities are a challenge even though I really enjoy going to see the kids in their various activities. But each evening seems to slow me down the next day and this week feels like I am struggling to keep going. One of those things I just need to deal with knowing that it will gradually get better.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Saturday
Busy, busy week! Whew, I can't keep up! :) But I am here and so thankful for each moment, even if I am absolutely wiped out by the evening.
Last night was a beautiful choir concert that Tanner participated in. Tonight Kyle and I still went to October Baby and what a treat that was! I highly recommend seeing that movie, but it is a tearjerker! It was a treat to go to a movie even though I am pushing it a little harder than I probably should. The bed is calling my name pretty loudly right now!
Thursday is the ultrasound. I'm not counting on finding out anything that day, although I am sure going to try. I will send a copy by cd to Johns Hopkins and the oncologist will read it and give me the final answer for the next step. It would be such a blessing to not have to have another surgery but we will just take it as it comes.
Last night was a beautiful choir concert that Tanner participated in. Tonight Kyle and I still went to October Baby and what a treat that was! I highly recommend seeing that movie, but it is a tearjerker! It was a treat to go to a movie even though I am pushing it a little harder than I probably should. The bed is calling my name pretty loudly right now!
Thursday is the ultrasound. I'm not counting on finding out anything that day, although I am sure going to try. I will send a copy by cd to Johns Hopkins and the oncologist will read it and give me the final answer for the next step. It would be such a blessing to not have to have another surgery but we will just take it as it comes.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Wednesday
I am feeling a great sense of relief! I had three big things that I had to get done after getting home for work and I did the last yesterday! It was a big day for me because I had to drive an hour from home and do a continuing ed test that lasted about 2.5 hours. I passed! I have such a feeling of relief that these things are done and I can move on to other things.
One of the harder and sadder things for us is that one of our employees is leaving us. She has worked for us for two years. Replacing her is going to be difficult but we plan to replace her with a part time person. After all of the medical problems I have had, I know that this is a hurdle but one that we can deal with. At this point I am looking pretty short-sighted and just concerned about the results of my ultrasound. If I do need to have surgery again being short in the office means that Kyle won't be able to come with me so we will have to figure out how to make things work. We will just take it a day at a time, though, and I know that the Lord knows how things will play out.
One of the harder and sadder things for us is that one of our employees is leaving us. She has worked for us for two years. Replacing her is going to be difficult but we plan to replace her with a part time person. After all of the medical problems I have had, I know that this is a hurdle but one that we can deal with. At this point I am looking pretty short-sighted and just concerned about the results of my ultrasound. If I do need to have surgery again being short in the office means that Kyle won't be able to come with me so we will have to figure out how to make things work. We will just take it a day at a time, though, and I know that the Lord knows how things will play out.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Easter!
What a wonderful day to celebrate the resurrection of our Lord! It has been such a blessing to be able to enjoy the day with family and feel good while doing it. I remember so many times of either missing all together or struggling through the day in pain. It is even greater to focus on the sacrifice that our Lord made on my behalf. I am so undeserving.
I continue to think about how very blessed I am! Each day that passes gives me more confidence that perhaps I will continue with minimal head pain. I am enjoying each day! I can tell that my strength is improving, but it is very slow. It is just so nice to be moving in the right direction, though!
We are still amazed and honestly, quite surprised by the continued outpouring of love to us. It never ceases to amaze me to hear from so many that have been praying for me and my family! We have received financial support that we don't deserve and such encouraging notes. What blessings we have so unexpectedly received! Thank you! I haven't sent out personal thank you's and feel guilty about that. But I hope that each person knows how much we have appreciated the prayers and other expressions of love that we have received. God is so good!
I continue to think about how very blessed I am! Each day that passes gives me more confidence that perhaps I will continue with minimal head pain. I am enjoying each day! I can tell that my strength is improving, but it is very slow. It is just so nice to be moving in the right direction, though!
We are still amazed and honestly, quite surprised by the continued outpouring of love to us. It never ceases to amaze me to hear from so many that have been praying for me and my family! We have received financial support that we don't deserve and such encouraging notes. What blessings we have so unexpectedly received! Thank you! I haven't sent out personal thank you's and feel guilty about that. But I hope that each person knows how much we have appreciated the prayers and other expressions of love that we have received. God is so good!
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Wednesday
Again, no news is good news! I am so thankful for how well I am doing. Obviously I have a ways to go but I am happy with where I am at and can see that I am making progress.
Life stays busy for all and that is true of our family as well. Today I had a mandatory meeting to go to for work and I made it through the whole thing pretty well! I have another next week and I will be thankful to know that my list of required things to get done is growing smaller.
I am beginning to think a little more about what will be happening in the next while. I have the ultrasound scheduled locally for April 19. The results of that will determine whether I will need to go back to Baltimore and have another surgery or not. There was another "spot" detected on the ct scan that can't be seen on the ultrasound that I will need to get checked out, too. It was described as a possible abscess but was not seen well because it was partially behind the cyst. There is an 85% chance that I don't have cancer, which is a relief. However, I have been in the less than 1% with a few medical problems already so I know that I am not totally out of the woods. It will be good to know what to anticipate. Nothing would be the very best! We'll see. . .
The next issue we are contemplating is if I do need surgery, when it will happen. I've waited this long, so we are hoping that if it is necessary that we can wait until the end of May. There are many kids programs and nephew graduations, etc., that I would like to feel well enough to attend. So having surgery the beginning of May doesn't sound all that attractive, but we'll see how it all goes. One day at a time.
We are all so thankful for all of the good days that I am having and feel so blessed.
Life stays busy for all and that is true of our family as well. Today I had a mandatory meeting to go to for work and I made it through the whole thing pretty well! I have another next week and I will be thankful to know that my list of required things to get done is growing smaller.
I am beginning to think a little more about what will be happening in the next while. I have the ultrasound scheduled locally for April 19. The results of that will determine whether I will need to go back to Baltimore and have another surgery or not. There was another "spot" detected on the ct scan that can't be seen on the ultrasound that I will need to get checked out, too. It was described as a possible abscess but was not seen well because it was partially behind the cyst. There is an 85% chance that I don't have cancer, which is a relief. However, I have been in the less than 1% with a few medical problems already so I know that I am not totally out of the woods. It will be good to know what to anticipate. Nothing would be the very best! We'll see. . .
The next issue we are contemplating is if I do need surgery, when it will happen. I've waited this long, so we are hoping that if it is necessary that we can wait until the end of May. There are many kids programs and nephew graduations, etc., that I would like to feel well enough to attend. So having surgery the beginning of May doesn't sound all that attractive, but we'll see how it all goes. One day at a time.
We are all so thankful for all of the good days that I am having and feel so blessed.
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