I am excited to record that I have had the best couple of days that I have had for quite a while. Saturday and today have been so good! What a blessing to have a couple days that are good. I still have the headache, of course, but it is more mild and I could handle more noise yesterday and today than I have for a while. Oh, it feels so good to actually be closer to "normal!"
Today was a sad day as well. A member of our church lost her husband last night. He was failing for some time now, so it was certainly not unexpected. It is a blessing for him to be walking on streets of gold right now, but sad for the dear woman who will not see her husband again on this side of heaven. She is such a special lady and I mourn for her.
What a blessing good health is! I was scanning through a few pictures that I have on the computer and stumbled on a few of me after a couple of the surgeries & during the hospital stay. I can now see that I look a great deal better than I did then. What a blessing to be doing better! Perfect? Not nearly. But a lot better than "before."
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
Friday
This week overall has been a pretty normal week, with some better days and some days not as good. I came home a little earlier today because I am feeling a little more tired. It seems like by the end of the week it is just time to be home and have a little more rest time.
I am so thankful that my cousin's preemie daughter is doing ok. It seems like she has had a few small improvements that are encouraging. And little Jessica is still inside her mommy, which is a great place to be for her right now. She isn't growing like she should be, which is concerning. I continue to pray for these tiny little lives that are precious to our Lord.
In some ways I have found that my medical issues have been a blessing to me. I have probably written this before, but I know that the Lord has used these tough times to strengthen my faith, trust the Lord more fully and long for his returning. I wish that I wasn't such a slow learner that it took multiple brain surgeries for me to develop this, but I am thankful for the fruit of the struggles. I pray now that the lessons have been learned and that I can continue to grow in faith and at the same time grow in health!
I am so thankful that my cousin's preemie daughter is doing ok. It seems like she has had a few small improvements that are encouraging. And little Jessica is still inside her mommy, which is a great place to be for her right now. She isn't growing like she should be, which is concerning. I continue to pray for these tiny little lives that are precious to our Lord.
In some ways I have found that my medical issues have been a blessing to me. I have probably written this before, but I know that the Lord has used these tough times to strengthen my faith, trust the Lord more fully and long for his returning. I wish that I wasn't such a slow learner that it took multiple brain surgeries for me to develop this, but I am thankful for the fruit of the struggles. I pray now that the lessons have been learned and that I can continue to grow in faith and at the same time grow in health!
Monday, September 20, 2010
Monday
Today was a little strange. I had pain in my head, but I wouldn't describe it as a headache. Make sense? It is hard to explain. Instead of a headache where it makes it harder to think or concentrate, I had a specific pain in my head. It is in the right side--where my head always hurts the most. It feels like the tube in the right side of my brain is irritating my brain. I think that technically that shouldn't be the case because I don't think you are supposed to feel things in your brain. However, I really feel like I can and it is quite irritating. I would just love to pull that tube right out, not that I could. I've had this sensation before but not as long or as "strong" as this time. I'm not sure, once again, if this is due to the huge weather fluctuation we've had today or just one of those things.
This is a lonely journey that I am on. The more my head hurts, the more I am forced into isolation from people and the noise that comes along with being with others. I am a social creature by nature and love to visit with people at church, etc., and so often I can't because of the noise in the room. I have been in this "forced isolation" for so long that I feel like I have lost touch with others. Will it always be this way?
This is a lonely journey that I am on. The more my head hurts, the more I am forced into isolation from people and the noise that comes along with being with others. I am a social creature by nature and love to visit with people at church, etc., and so often I can't because of the noise in the room. I have been in this "forced isolation" for so long that I feel like I have lost touch with others. Will it always be this way?
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Another Sunday
Not a lot of change. I've has a few better days this week and some that really weren't so great. It is hard to understand sometimes. I really wonder if this is how it is always going to be. Rather sobering even though it is better than it had been. Dear Lord, come quickly.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Sunday
I am thankful that yesterday and today have been better. What a difference feeling better can make on my outlook on life! I have to admit that I have been wondering what to do. My headaches continue to fluctuate quite a bit. They are not really bad--definitely tolerable. However, I feel like the intensity is just a little bit increased. My good days aren't quite as good and the bad days seem a little stronger.
I am thinking about my options. I don't think that this means that the shunts are not working. It just seems that I need to find a way to control the headache a little better. Over the last four years, with the exception of last year, fall is when I tend to start sliding down hill. I'm not sure if it is due to the weather change or if it is just how it works out, but I am wondering if the time of the year has some impact on the headaches becoming a little stronger. So, this isn't hugely concerning. I don't think that I am heading into more surgeries, ect. I just need to get this controlled a little better and perhaps it will level out a little better when the unstable weather is past.
Baby Allie is still holding on! For a few days the prognosis was not good, but she has rallied and improved slightly. Her kidney's are not functioning correctly so if she can remain stable they will need to start checking that out. Joyce's granddaughter, Jessica has not yet been born. What a blessing that is! She is now at 26 weeks gestation, so each day in the womb is a blessing. Her mommy is in the hospital until she is delivered. I continue to pray diligently for these precious baby girls.
I am thinking about my options. I don't think that this means that the shunts are not working. It just seems that I need to find a way to control the headache a little better. Over the last four years, with the exception of last year, fall is when I tend to start sliding down hill. I'm not sure if it is due to the weather change or if it is just how it works out, but I am wondering if the time of the year has some impact on the headaches becoming a little stronger. So, this isn't hugely concerning. I don't think that I am heading into more surgeries, ect. I just need to get this controlled a little better and perhaps it will level out a little better when the unstable weather is past.
Baby Allie is still holding on! For a few days the prognosis was not good, but she has rallied and improved slightly. Her kidney's are not functioning correctly so if she can remain stable they will need to start checking that out. Joyce's granddaughter, Jessica has not yet been born. What a blessing that is! She is now at 26 weeks gestation, so each day in the womb is a blessing. Her mommy is in the hospital until she is delivered. I continue to pray diligently for these precious baby girls.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Wednesday
Can it be Wednesday already?
The camping went fine. The kids had a great time and overall it was ok for me. Saturday was the best day I had. Sunday was ok, too. Monday was a little rough but we made it through. I am not feeling as well this afternoon again but the weather may easily play a part in that. I think that I should go into weather forcasting. I would certainly have a good average in predicting weather changes!
My cousin's baby continues to struggle. We continue praying for her as she is holding onto life. Her tiny little body is having a tough time of it, though. Please pray for little Allie! Joyce in my office has a daughter-in-law that is barely holding on to a pregnancy as well. She is about 25 1/2 weeks along now but her water broke last Friday. She is in the hospital and they are praying that the little one stays in the womb as long as possible. In both of these situations there are little ones at home as well missing their mommy's.
I know that God is in control, and that the Lord has a plan for each life that is the very best plan. Why is it so hard for us human's to understand? It has taught me reliance upon the Lord and deepened my faith but it does seem like there could be an easier way to learn. I yearn for the Lord's return, though. As I see so much sadness and heartbreak I thank the Lord that He is faithful and loves me more than I could ever imagine. I need to hang on to this fact.
The camping went fine. The kids had a great time and overall it was ok for me. Saturday was the best day I had. Sunday was ok, too. Monday was a little rough but we made it through. I am not feeling as well this afternoon again but the weather may easily play a part in that. I think that I should go into weather forcasting. I would certainly have a good average in predicting weather changes!
My cousin's baby continues to struggle. We continue praying for her as she is holding onto life. Her tiny little body is having a tough time of it, though. Please pray for little Allie! Joyce in my office has a daughter-in-law that is barely holding on to a pregnancy as well. She is about 25 1/2 weeks along now but her water broke last Friday. She is in the hospital and they are praying that the little one stays in the womb as long as possible. In both of these situations there are little ones at home as well missing their mommy's.
I know that God is in control, and that the Lord has a plan for each life that is the very best plan. Why is it so hard for us human's to understand? It has taught me reliance upon the Lord and deepened my faith but it does seem like there could be an easier way to learn. I yearn for the Lord's return, though. As I see so much sadness and heartbreak I thank the Lord that He is faithful and loves me more than I could ever imagine. I need to hang on to this fact.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Thursday
This has been a harder week. Overall I haven't been feeling very well, particularly near the end of the day. I've had a few bigger days in the office and that totally wipes me out. Yesterday I left early and slept hard for a couple hours in the afternoon. Then again today was another longer day and I am not feeling well. My headache is definitely stronger. And this becomes discouraging. I so long for a time that I can just feel good and not pay for doing "normal" things.
My heart is heavy also for my cousin and his wife as they lost a twin daughter and the remaining little girl is hanging on. They were born last week with medical problems at about 25 weeks gestation. Please pray for the parents and grandparents and for little Allie. The Lord is always faithful but humanly speaking it can be so hard to endure and understand. I am thankful for their faith in the Lord, though, and the hope that they have through Him. We don't choose these difficult paths but the Lord does bless us and we see God's grace more clearly in the tough times.
We are going camping over the long weekend near SF. This is always something that our family really enjoys but it is almost more than I can handle. Getting ready is difficult even though my kids and husband do a great deal of it, and even being there and out of my normal routine is sometimes tough. It is worth it for the kids, but it is a struggle for me. I am a little more concerned this time because I am not doing as well this week. It is better going into it feeling and being stronger so this time might be a little harder than usual. We'll make the best of it and pray that I start to improve.
My heart is heavy also for my cousin and his wife as they lost a twin daughter and the remaining little girl is hanging on. They were born last week with medical problems at about 25 weeks gestation. Please pray for the parents and grandparents and for little Allie. The Lord is always faithful but humanly speaking it can be so hard to endure and understand. I am thankful for their faith in the Lord, though, and the hope that they have through Him. We don't choose these difficult paths but the Lord does bless us and we see God's grace more clearly in the tough times.
We are going camping over the long weekend near SF. This is always something that our family really enjoys but it is almost more than I can handle. Getting ready is difficult even though my kids and husband do a great deal of it, and even being there and out of my normal routine is sometimes tough. It is worth it for the kids, but it is a struggle for me. I am a little more concerned this time because I am not doing as well this week. It is better going into it feeling and being stronger so this time might be a little harder than usual. We'll make the best of it and pray that I start to improve.
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