The stronger headache continues, but it isn't as bad as yesterday. It hurt very badly to move at all yesterday and today I have been up and around more. Yesterday the meds helped and today I haven't taken anything.
I have a spinal tap scheduled for Monday morning. We will see how I do the rest of today and tomorrow. It would be a blessing if it would improve to the point where I was before again. The questions are difficult to silence in my mind. If the pressure is low, why is this happening again so soon? Is the pump of the shunt not working well? Or if it is high, surgery would be a likelyhood. So much is happening this month with the kids, though, and it breaks my heart to think of missing a lot again. So I am trying very hard to take it moment by moment and trust that the Lord's plan is good, no matter what.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
Friday
I have had a good week this week overall. However, this morning I woke up with things not good again. I'm not sure where this will lead, but we'll see how the weekend goes. Today I am very nauseated and the headache is pretty bad. Kyle gave me a shot and I took a zofran and that is helping for now.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Monday
What a beautiful day Easter Sunday was! We woke up to blue sky's and sunshine. Perfect! It was also a day that I felt better than I often do. We had a busy day with family but I did pretty well! Today hasn't been so bad either. Sometimes the day after a busy day will hit me hard. I can feel that the weather is changing, though. I knew it this morning when the sky was still sunny and now I see the clouds rolling in.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Tuesday
I didn't like the cold weather last week and this morning thought I was having a bad dream when I saw snow on the ground! This to shall pass, right? :)
I continue to do ok. This is a very busy time of year with our younger two in soccer Monday, Tuesday and Saturday and Tanner in soccer in high school. He has practice every day and games two nights a week. Then you add three piano lessons, violin lessons, cello lessons, recitals, and all the random other things that get thrown in and it is a little more than I can handle. We are also a little concerned about Tara--she has another ear infection. Not good.
For the most part I am trying to pace myself and pick and choose what I can and can't do. Sometimes that isn't so easy. A mom of four really needs to be more capable than I am. I continue to pray for strength, endurance and the ability to accept how things are.
Our family has seen so much kindness shown to us. I don't often mention how we have been blessed by fellow christians particularly because I don't want anyone to feel like we expect it or are asking for more. That being said, we had several people bring meals during the last "episode" and a Bible Study group brought us 16 meals! What an unexpected but so appreciated gift! Even though the I am not doing nearly as badly as I was, it has been such a blessing to have those meals that I can use when I just don't have the energy to cook. We are amazed at the generousity and kindness shown to us! It is also a gift to me personally that I can tangibly see that people care and haven't forgotten about me. That is pretty special to me. Thank you!!
I continue to do ok. This is a very busy time of year with our younger two in soccer Monday, Tuesday and Saturday and Tanner in soccer in high school. He has practice every day and games two nights a week. Then you add three piano lessons, violin lessons, cello lessons, recitals, and all the random other things that get thrown in and it is a little more than I can handle. We are also a little concerned about Tara--she has another ear infection. Not good.
For the most part I am trying to pace myself and pick and choose what I can and can't do. Sometimes that isn't so easy. A mom of four really needs to be more capable than I am. I continue to pray for strength, endurance and the ability to accept how things are.
Our family has seen so much kindness shown to us. I don't often mention how we have been blessed by fellow christians particularly because I don't want anyone to feel like we expect it or are asking for more. That being said, we had several people bring meals during the last "episode" and a Bible Study group brought us 16 meals! What an unexpected but so appreciated gift! Even though the I am not doing nearly as badly as I was, it has been such a blessing to have those meals that I can use when I just don't have the energy to cook. We are amazed at the generousity and kindness shown to us! It is also a gift to me personally that I can tangibly see that people care and haven't forgotten about me. That is pretty special to me. Thank you!!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Thursday
Where did our beautiful spring weather go? I loved the warmer weather and not so thrilled about cold, windy and rainy days we are having now.
This has been an ok week. Perhaps my strength has improved a bit? I took a good nap this afternoon again but had a really big day yesterday with an afternoon of continuing ed. I am so thankful that Kyle picks up when I run out of steam. He fed the family and took care of everything last night while I watched. A long night of sleep and a good nap today will hopefully make tomorrow a little better. I suspect the weather changes haven't helped anything this week. But, I am doing ok.
I am rereading a good book about suffering. Suffering doesn't necessarily mean health issues, but any type of suffering that we endure on this earth. Most people have one challenge or another to deal with in life and many have multiple difficulties. It is a comfort to me to know that the Lord won't give me any more than I can endure and that this is for my good. I don't understand it and probably never will, but that is ok.
This has been an ok week. Perhaps my strength has improved a bit? I took a good nap this afternoon again but had a really big day yesterday with an afternoon of continuing ed. I am so thankful that Kyle picks up when I run out of steam. He fed the family and took care of everything last night while I watched. A long night of sleep and a good nap today will hopefully make tomorrow a little better. I suspect the weather changes haven't helped anything this week. But, I am doing ok.
I am rereading a good book about suffering. Suffering doesn't necessarily mean health issues, but any type of suffering that we endure on this earth. Most people have one challenge or another to deal with in life and many have multiple difficulties. It is a comfort to me to know that the Lord won't give me any more than I can endure and that this is for my good. I don't understand it and probably never will, but that is ok.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Monday
Overall the meeting out of town went well. By the time I was home I was thoroughly exhausted though! My nerves have settled down quite a bit since my three week episode, but by the end of the day of the meeting I had trouble with it again, primarily by shaking and feeling the "pulsing" of my nerves constantly. A good reminder that under normal circumstances, I am not ready for all of that yet.
I thought that I would regain my strength, at least to the level that I had before the "episode," fairly quickly. That has not been the case. I was down for three weeks, and thought that I should pop back up in about that amount of time. Last week I had a few big days, but I ended up being in bed by 9:00 every night and took a nap three or four times through the week. They were not planned, but I would lay down to rest and just drop off which I normally don't do. I slept several hours yesterday afternoon, so hopefully that will carry me through a ways this week!
This is a busy time of the year. I am very thankful that I have been able to see a number of our kids' activities. Once again I am trying very hard to be thankful for what I can do rather than get frustrated with what I can't do. That is easier said than done some days, but I am trying. The Lord has a plan for my life, and although I don't understand it I am grateful to know that He does and that His plan is best.
I thought that I would regain my strength, at least to the level that I had before the "episode," fairly quickly. That has not been the case. I was down for three weeks, and thought that I should pop back up in about that amount of time. Last week I had a few big days, but I ended up being in bed by 9:00 every night and took a nap three or four times through the week. They were not planned, but I would lay down to rest and just drop off which I normally don't do. I slept several hours yesterday afternoon, so hopefully that will carry me through a ways this week!
This is a busy time of the year. I am very thankful that I have been able to see a number of our kids' activities. Once again I am trying very hard to be thankful for what I can do rather than get frustrated with what I can't do. That is easier said than done some days, but I am trying. The Lord has a plan for my life, and although I don't understand it I am grateful to know that He does and that His plan is best.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Wednesday
Well, here I am to Wednesday and I still haven't worked on the Johns Hopkins paperwork. . . .
A busy week again, this time with work. I've had a couple office appointments at night in a row and that is a killer. This morning I felt miserable so put in a short day and then took a nap. I hope to have a quiet rest of the day because I have a work meeting out of town all day that is mandatory. As I told Kyle, this isn't a sleepy tired but a physical exhaustion. I have a hard time moving forward and dealing with anything when I overdo it.
A busy week again, this time with work. I've had a couple office appointments at night in a row and that is a killer. This morning I felt miserable so put in a short day and then took a nap. I hope to have a quiet rest of the day because I have a work meeting out of town all day that is mandatory. As I told Kyle, this isn't a sleepy tired but a physical exhaustion. I have a hard time moving forward and dealing with anything when I overdo it.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Saturday
Too busy. That is how I would describe this week. Many very good things but exhausting for this old lady. I am sitting in my chair at home, and probably won't do much of anything all day in hopes of feeling a little better. With one huge exception--I am going to the school musical again. I went last night, and what a bunch of incredibly talented 7th and 8th grade kids! The teachers and all those that helped should be considered hero's for the time and commitment they made to make the production so great! As excited as I was to be there and as proud I am of my daughter in the musical, it was very loud and very busy--a little more than my head likes to process. So if I sit really quietly this morning, I will have the priviledge of watching one more time. It is so worth it!
I still haven't sent my paperwork to Johns Hopkins. Partly because, even though it is nearly ready to go, I just haven't wanted to spend the time going through it to get it ready to send. Partly because I feel another rejection coming on. Maybe I'm not ready to know that this is as good as it gets. As long as I don't send it, I can't get the answers that I may not want to hear.
I still haven't sent my paperwork to Johns Hopkins. Partly because, even though it is nearly ready to go, I just haven't wanted to spend the time going through it to get it ready to send. Partly because I feel another rejection coming on. Maybe I'm not ready to know that this is as good as it gets. As long as I don't send it, I can't get the answers that I may not want to hear.
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