Still no news. I am really hoping tomorrow is the day, but I also have a lot of experience in waiting for doctors. So I hope it is tomorrow but know that it is just as likely that it won't be tomorrow.
It has become harder coping with this. Perhaps it is similar to the steps of mourning. First I was in shock. Then I went through some time of anger at having to deal with yet another surgery. Now I think the reality that I could have cancer has sunk in and thinking through the consequences of that potential answer. We are praying that it is not cancer and that this will be a small hiccup in my recovery. But it will be surgery number 7 in a twelve month period and I am so very sick of surgeries, dealing with doctors and all that this entails. If there was a way to walk away from all of it I would but that really isn't an option. Ultimately, I am tired. Just very tired. The thought of another medical challenge beyond a surgery is just too overwhelming to contemplate for long.
One step at a time, though. God has a plan. I may not like it, but I know and trust that all things are in His hand--me and my family.
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