A sabbath blessing to you

I haven't written for a few days. Thursday and Friday the pain wasn't as strong then Saturday it was strong again and I'm not doing so great today either. It was a week of Thanksgiving and I know that I have much to be thankful for. At the same time, it is sad to miss Thanksgiving dinner with the family (Kyle & kids went to my in-laws) and not being able to participate in some of the traditions that we normally have at this time of the year. I missed a wedding last night and today my sister Renae had baby Jenna baptised. I missed it as well as the baptism of her last child, Alexa a little over a year ago. I want to be able to look at the blessings and gifts that I have been given but I am sad about the things I am missing and the memories that we aren't making with the kids. There are several programs the kids are in coming up that I so hope that I can attend!

In my studying for answers about Intracranial Hypertension (IH), I found that any type of physical exertion can cause the headaches to get much worse. That is actually a relief to me! I have been able to do so little and the smallest tasks leave me exhausted. When I was doing physical therapy it seemed as if I could do a small amount of things but if I pushed at all I would walk out with a nauseating headache that would last. The pt, with a kind smile, called my "exercises" a warm-up for the warm-up. It became very frustrating but now perhaps I have an explanation as to why I have been able to do so little. You do start playing mind games, wondering if you are truly just lazy and mentally hiding behind this or something. So I was relieved to hear that it was normal for this condition and not laziness on my part. I have normally always been the type of person that is on the go, always busy and rarely sitting down to just watch tv. This has been a dramatic change to my life in many ways, including that I can't do much but sit or lay all day.

The spinal tap, or lumbar puncture as the doctors call it, is scheduled for Tuesday. However, that is exactly 4 weeks to the day that I had the last one done. The neuro wanted me to have it 30 days later. I'm not sure if 2 days is a big deal but we are concerned that perhaps insurance will require being on the medication for 30 days without success before any other procedures can be performed. Of course, I am jumping to conclusions but just in case we are going to check to see if this is an issue. I desperately want to have it done right away but we may need to delay it for a couple days.

I pray that each of you will have a blessed Lords Day. The Lord has given Kyle and I the grace to endure this and He provides for us lovingly. A few have asked how I am hanging on and I have to say that I am not on my own. Some days are tough and some are not as bad, but I know that God has a plan for us and He is fully in control. Clinging to God's promises does not mean that I am a great Christian--I am a sinner that God has extended His grace to. Bible memorization is a wonderful thing that I am terrible at, but different verses run through my mind that are comforting. Right now I keep thinking about the verse, "For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) God is good, all the time.