Improved? Maybe. .

I think my attitude has improved a bit even if my health has not. The spinal tap is scheduled for Tuesday around noon. I look forward to having it done and hopefully I will have some time of feeling pretty good again. I dread the actual procedure. It actually isn't all that painful--probably more uncomfortable than anthing. I just have a hard time not thinking about what they are doing to me as I feel them poking around in my spine. I would like to just shut my thoughts off.

I will readily admit that I have guessed wrong before, but it really seems that the pressure must be too high again. I am regularly taking the pain meds (which I don't do unless I have to b/c I seem to develop a tolerance to them quickly), only sleeping if I taking sleeping pills, my neck & shoulder are starting to bother me more and more again and so on. All the same things that I had before the last spinal tap. Maybe they can take out a little more fluid this time and feeling good will last longer? We will see--the other side of that is if there isn't enough fluid it causes another type of headache.

The shunt is sounding like a better option to me now, too. I guess I just had to feel bad enough a little longer before I remembered that about any procedure is fine as long as it takes away the pain.

Thanks for your encouraging words on this blog, by email and for the calls. I can't tell you how much that encourages me. On the days that I am feeling pretty down I enjoy looking at the emails and notes (even if it only says that you are reading the blog!) to remind myself that there are people out there that care and I am not truly alone! Thank you!