This weekend continued about the same with the headache. I am so ready to be done with this and resume normal life!
Today we visited the ns in sf. As I anticipated, it did not go well. I explained what has happened the last three weeks. It is pretty clear on my face that I am not well. He responded with, "at least you are alive!" (He wouldn't have much of a practice if he said that to all of his patients!) He also reminded me that he would only work on the shunt if I am dying. He did feel my head where you can feel the tubing and pump through my skin to be sure it was still connected correctly. That is about the best he would give me. He was willing to adjust the shunt setting, though, so we chose to decrease the amount of fluid flowing out slightly. It would be such a blessing if that very simple thing made a big difference! The ns was quite convinced that it wouldn't, but he humored me by adjusting the setting.
I have an appointment with a neurologist in two weeks. I am not so keen on that since I have gone down that road a few times before, and their cure is always drugs and more drugs. Right now I am just taking one medication (and a sleeping pill since this began about three weeks ago). That is not so bad. . . my high was while treating in Chicago under a neurologist and I was taking 20 to 25 pills a day. Zombie land.
Although this was quite a discouraging day, the Lord does continue to provide His grace. I am shedding a few tears as my emotions seem to swing a lot with the headaches, but I am holding onto Him. I really appreciate the kind words and encouragement offered to my family and I. It is hard for me going through it, but I sometimes think it is even harder for Kyle as he tries to keep all the plates spinning at the same time that he is caring for me. He would never admit that, though. We all just long for normalcy again. Perhaps tomorrow. . . .
2 comments:
Cindy,
I was friends with Tami in college and we had lunch together last week and she mentioned you were still suffering from headaches and had started to blog about your experience. I started to read your blog because I have a friend whose husband also has been suffering from intense headaches (I don't know that his condition even has a name) and has also been turned away from Mayo, but you have had quite a few more surgeries than he has.
I went back to the beginning of your blog, and over the course of four days, read the entire thing! I found I was anticipating the 'happy ending' that is generally found in storybooks, but knowing you continue to suffer, I would instead just say a prayer for you every time I read a particularly discouraging post.
I once read that for every one comment one person makes on these blogs, there are at least twenty others who have read the entry and chose not to comment. You may not even realize how many lives you've touched, but you still have faith in such hard times, and that proves to be such a profound testimony to the people around you.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
You long for a life of normalcy, but God has chosen you to be a witness for Him, in spite of everything you've gone through. It brings tears to my eyes just realizing how selfish I can be and have been - I am healthy and have a wonderful family but my faith does not even close to matching yours. Please continue to hold fast to your faith during these troubled times. I will continue to pray for healing for you.
Thank you for being so willing to let us into your life and mind.
God bless,
Kearsen (Boman) Nyenhuis
Dear Cindy,
I'm really praying that somehow that simple adjustment WILL be the answer. I just think it would be amazing if something so simple could make all the difference. So that is what I am praying for tonight. I'm praying that you will wake up feeling so much better than you have been the last three weeks. However, if that is not to be, then I pray for God's continued grace that he has always given. Thinking of your whole family!
Love ya!
Mary
Post a Comment