Sunday

Well, I "observed" the one year mark since being in the hospital. I have actually not had a surgery and/or been admitted into the hospital for a year! The only medical issue was the er visit when I couldn't stop throwing up. That is really an accomplishment for me, considering the challenges that I've had for the last four years. One year! Yippee!

Oh Lord, if it be your will let me avoid additional surgeries and/or hospital stays this next year! And if that isn't Your will, give me the strength and wisdom to handle the plans that You do have for my life! I certainly wouldn't choose the challenges that the Lord has given me and my family, but I know that His plans are best.

Another thought that has been stirring around in my mind is that the Lord has been gracious to me. Some have said that I am so strong, but the only strength that I have had is the strength given to me by the Lord. That being said, I have some pretty tough times of questioning, periods of anger about my circumstances and sadness at the many things that I have missed. I am far from perfect. There are so many "why's" that probably will never be answered this side of heaven, but I suspect that many people have some of those questions as well. I have had challenges but there are many others that have experienced difficulties much worse than mine. And medical issues aren't the only struggles or the worst struggles. I know that the Lord uses these periods of testing to strengthen His people, but in the midst of these trials it is difficult to not ask why. But then I turn back to Psalm 139 and remember that God is in control and He knows what is best for me--I don't! I will continue to look forward to the day of the Lord's return.