Thursday

Kyle and the kids will be home soon. It has been good for me to have a couple days of quiet time to rest and recover from the trip, etc. I hope I am ready for the busyness of life with a family again.

I am feeling pretty well. My head is very good. I can't say that the headache is gone completely but I would describe it as a dull ache now instead of a headache--very tolerable. I can live this way. I have been able to handle noise pretty well and a lot of movement around me used to be a problem but I can take that as well. My head has been my biggest concern and so far, so good. The rest of it will come. My body is very weak yet, but as time goes by that will improve. I have a rash that started as a few spots on my legs but is getting worse and now is on my face and neck. My doctor believes that it is probably a viral thing, which I am pretty susceptible to because I have been so sick. My right side still hurts, particularly when I am more tired or have been up too long. I continue to use caution in what I eat, but try to eat throughout the day. Sitting down for a few bigger meals just isn't working for me right now.

When I was in the hospital a few of the doctors that visited told me that I had been a very sick woman, and that again has made me realize how serious and sick that I was. If the infection has traveled up the tubing and into my brain, I may not be here right now or mentally may not be the same, so I really do have much to be thankful for.

I am completely bald but I now have "stubble." A few have asked if it bothers me that I don't have hair. It did at first and I am careful to wear hats when I am out of the house. However, after everything that has happened, hair has become a pretty small detail. It will come back. I think I will keep it pretty short so that if I need another surgery and my head is shaved, it isn't such a shock to my kids. They are bothered by my hair being gone the most. My perspective on many things have changed and I have found that having hair just is not that big of a deal.

The Lord has provided so richly for our family through this ordeal. He has given strength in weakness and His grace in adversity. I am so thankful for my faith in Him--I don't think that I could have survived this without Him carrying me and our family through. People have said that I am so strong, but I really am not. I didn't do it on my own and if you would have told me years ago that I would have survived all of this I wouldn't have believed it. God provides for us as we need it and during that time He also used the challenges to strengthen my faith. For that I am very thankful.