Today we had doctor visits, but I was mistaken earlier--neither were for me. My appointments are on Thursday with the ns and then Monday with the general surgeon. I was mixed up. But the appointments went well and I was able to go along. We left first thing this morning and got home mid-afternoon. Kyle drove. I am wiped now, even though the shopping we did between appointments was in the wheelchair for me. I have to remind myself that I was a very sick person not so long ago because it frustrates me that I can be this exhausted from doing so little--just being out of the house seems to use up all my energy and strength.
I have to admit that I am getting a little discouraged. I really do know that I should not be surprised that it is going to take a lot of time to recover and regain my strength. But I still look at all that I cannot do and how I am overwhelmed by small things and get frustrated. On Sunday my dad turned 60 (happy birthday dad!) and so I had them over for dinner. Then I decided that I could just as well have my sister Renae and her family come too since I was going to pop a ham in the oven. My kids prepared the vegies on Saturday so it really shouldn't have been a big deal. It was a very big deal and totally wiped me out. A simple meal for 14 would not have even fazed me a few years ago and this time I couldn't get it organized--with mom and Renae helping a lot--messed up some things and was wiped by the time we sat down to eat. I shouldn't let it bother me and I know it will come but today I am just sick of it. I am so ready to live a normal life. I want to be able to take care of my family, do ordinary things and go to work effectively. I am thankful to be where I am today but I am allowing the frustration to get to me today. Tomorrow will be better.
3 comments:
Hey Cindy,
This blog is for you to express your true feelings. It is TOTALLY okay for you to admit that you feel frustrated and overwhelmed. I feel frustrated and overwhelmed with daily life sometimes and I am completely healthy. And when I have 14 people over, I can feel overwhelmed when I am feeling fine!! Also, with that many people there is usually a lot of noise, and all that activity is still probably a lot for you at this point. Remember that many of us saw you in the hospital and witnessed how completely ill you were. The recovery you have made up to this point is nothing short of miraculous in my mind. But it still is terribly frustrating when there are all these things you want to do and accomplish, and you'd like that to happen without all the tiredness and overwhelmed feelings. That is SO understandable. The many of us who read your blog and care about you continue to pray for your recovery. It probably is going to take a long time and it is so difficult to be patient. We are all so grateful to the Lord for how far He has brought you, but we are also here to pray for you in the long recovery stage and during the frustrating days. Love ya Cindy!
Mary
Hang in there, girl!!!
Cindy,
Frustration is inevitable when you have been through as much as you have! 3 years of doctoring, surgeries, unbearable headaches, stomach pain and the list goes on! I am amazed at how well you are doing compared to a short 5 weeks ago. Continue to have faith in our Ultimate Healer. We continue to pray for you full recovery. Patience, patience, patience.. God is teaching our family to have patience as well.
God Bless You,
Joyce
Post a Comment