Sometimes it is hard to tell someone how the headaches are because they vary through the day and I think I lose perspective sometimes. It seems that they are holding a little steady with evenings being worse then the days. I have had difficulty sleeping for quite a while, as I have mentioned to some. I have been taking Ambien (sleeping med) but a few times I have had to switch to the extended release Ambien when the pain level becomes too high. I started taking the extended release, which keeps releasing meds through the night, 3 nights ago because I would wake up right when the medication would wear out--about 2 or 3 am. Now I can sleep until about 5 or 6, which is much better. Otherwise I don't sleep at all--it is almost like my brain forgets how to sleep when the pressure is high. However, when the headache is down considerably I don't take anything and sleep just fine. (Like following my shunt placement when I felt so well).
Tara came home sick yesterday with a fever so I am concerned about catching whatever that was. She woke up this morning feeling cheerful and smiley so it didn't last long--thankfully!
For a few days after I scheduled the surgery I felt like I was clawing for information online that I could use as an alternative to surgery. I am dreading this surgery more then I have any of the last 4. It seems like there is no alternative, though. Kyle mentioned to me a few days ago that there have been several times that it seemed that there were no options and then a door would open. We continue following those open doors and it seems that this is the only open door. I am feeling more peace about that. I am so thankful for the prayers of so many people and also that God's grace is sufficient during tough times. Several people have told me that I seem so strong, but I really am not. I know that God is carrying me through all this but He alone is giving me strength because I certainly don't have it by myself. That doesn't mean I don't have tears sometimes or ask a lot of why's, but God continues to be faithful through my questions and tears.
2 comments:
I just want to let you know that my parents are from Orange City. I too have been suffering from miserable pressure headaches for almost 2 years now. I too have a very difficult time sleeping through the night as the pressure is so great. I just want you to know I think of you often and pray for you too, because trust me, I know how life is with the constant nagging pressure of a headache. I continually pray for miracles, but in the meantime am just trusting the Lord is doing something amazing with me while I am going through this. I pray that you too may feel His presence and His grace in the time of great suffering.
Cindy-You are such an amazing witness. I can't say enough. I love you guys so much and pray for you constantly. I wish I could help you more. I don't really have all the words to say right now, but I wanted you to know how often I lift you up before the Lord and how often I think about you in every day. LOVE YOU
Emily DeVries
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