It has been more than two years since I last wrote on this blog. Sometimes I forget that it is here, yet it is never so very far from me. Every time I have a significant headache, which is more frequent than I would prefer, I think about what has happened in the past.
Ten years ago this summer I started seriously seeking help for headaches that escalated beyond my wildest imagination. Pain so intense that I can't describe it. Doctor visits, hospital stays, surgery after surgery, infection and ongoing pain. If I had known ten years ago what the future would hold, what would I have done? I've been asked what choices we would have changed in my treatment. I've seen some excellent doctors and a few that should not be allowed to continue working with clients. I've been understood with compassion and I've been mocked.
Today I am thankful that my headaches on a daily basis are not nearly as severe as they had been. I am thankful that I haven't been hospitalized for quite some time. I really wish that the headaches would go away all together! I wish that the major headaches would decrease even more in number. Yesterday was another tough day. Not surprising since it was a busy week last week with our oldest home from college and a big day on Sunday celebrating Easter. I wish that I could be the typical person that goes through a day without having to think about the amount of activity I've participated in for the day and the days before. Measuring whether I can get through the days ahead with what I've done in that day.
Life has taken a turn for the worse in our home. With our youngest daughter, age 12, now in a mental health facility for Reactive Attachment Disorder, the challenges continue. Our life has been a study in unusual difficulties. I really wouldn't wish any of these hard things on another person but would like to be able to walk through a life with a little less hard times. We are so tired, weary and just not sure how to keep moving forward. The Lord continues to carry us though, especially when we just want to throw in the towel and call it enough. Because we really have had enough. The Lord continues to lead us on, though, Please pray for our endurance and continued trust in Him.
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Thanksgiving
Once again I have much to be thankful for. Although both moles were severely atypical and progressing to cancer, but were removed and had clear margins. So I am melanoma free! I will just have to keep an eye on my skin and go in regularly for skin checks.
Our oldest son is home for the week of Thanksgiving. What a wonderful thing to have our family together! He is so happy and content in Pennsylvania, though, which gives us a great deal of contentment and peace about him being there.
Our oldest son is home for the week of Thanksgiving. What a wonderful thing to have our family together! He is so happy and content in Pennsylvania, though, which gives us a great deal of contentment and peace about him being there.
Saturday, November 15, 2014
November and snowing
In Situ. . . .
These words are such a blessing to hear after a diagnosis of melanoma.
Yep, another diagnosis. I had a mole that had bubbled up a bit and then changed colors. As a side note when visiting my family practitioner about another issue, I remembered to ask him about it. It didn't look alarming but since it had changed he decided to remove it.
He called a few days later to tell me that it was melanoma and that it was outside of the borders of what had been removed. More likely in situ but until the rest was removed we wouldn't know.
A dermatologist removed an area on my upper left arm that was 5 cm long and about 3 cm wide. It was deep enough that my arm will remain sunken in there but at this point the stitches are out and it is just sore.
She removed two more moles on Monday. Thursday the nurse called saying that one was severely atypical but okay--I just have to watch the site closely for any future discoloration. However, the other was more suspicious and sent to another lab to be removed. So once again we are praying that if it is Melanoma that it is in situ. Good words when it is cancer, especially melanoma which is the most aggressive and deadly of the skin cancers.
We know that God has a plan for our lives. My health, although greatly improved, is not impressive. I struggle with weakness, my daily head is improved but still there, and regularly I still have strong headache days. Our youngest child has many challenges and that gives us many challenges. Exhausting.
Proverbs 3: 5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
These words are such a blessing to hear after a diagnosis of melanoma.
Yep, another diagnosis. I had a mole that had bubbled up a bit and then changed colors. As a side note when visiting my family practitioner about another issue, I remembered to ask him about it. It didn't look alarming but since it had changed he decided to remove it.
He called a few days later to tell me that it was melanoma and that it was outside of the borders of what had been removed. More likely in situ but until the rest was removed we wouldn't know.
A dermatologist removed an area on my upper left arm that was 5 cm long and about 3 cm wide. It was deep enough that my arm will remain sunken in there but at this point the stitches are out and it is just sore.
She removed two more moles on Monday. Thursday the nurse called saying that one was severely atypical but okay--I just have to watch the site closely for any future discoloration. However, the other was more suspicious and sent to another lab to be removed. So once again we are praying that if it is Melanoma that it is in situ. Good words when it is cancer, especially melanoma which is the most aggressive and deadly of the skin cancers.
We know that God has a plan for our lives. My health, although greatly improved, is not impressive. I struggle with weakness, my daily head is improved but still there, and regularly I still have strong headache days. Our youngest child has many challenges and that gives us many challenges. Exhausting.
Proverbs 3: 5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
Saturday, August 16, 2014
New days coming
We are soon seeing a transition in our lives. Tanner leaves for Grove City College pretty soon and we are all having emotions about the change that will bring to our family. We are happy for him, though. He is a little nervous but very excited about having a fresh start in a new place with new people. I really believe that it will be a blessing for him.
Life has honestly been hard. It is hard sometimes to understand the trials the Lord puts before us, particularly when new trials continue to overlap old. I am feeling tired and worn down. I'm not exactly sure what normal is, and perhaps no one knows what it is, but we have been so far from that nebulous state that it is hard to imagine.
My head has been relatively stable and at a place that is good for me, but I think due to stress and too many things happening, I've been sliding into a bad headache about once a week again for the last while. A little frustrating.
Please continue to pray for our family!
Life has honestly been hard. It is hard sometimes to understand the trials the Lord puts before us, particularly when new trials continue to overlap old. I am feeling tired and worn down. I'm not exactly sure what normal is, and perhaps no one knows what it is, but we have been so far from that nebulous state that it is hard to imagine.
My head has been relatively stable and at a place that is good for me, but I think due to stress and too many things happening, I've been sliding into a bad headache about once a week again for the last while. A little frustrating.
Please continue to pray for our family!
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
A warm Wednesday evening
I haven't written for a while and that is good news.
My eye continues to heal. A week or two ago it started becoming a little more irritated and red so I finally went in today to check it out. Nothing serious thankfully. I have to start the prescription drops again for a week and see what happens. I thought that maybe a stitch was starting to protrude again because there is a bump on my eye. However, it is just how my eye is healing. If you think about how a scar sometimes heals on your arm, for example, it will sometimes have rough spots that don't lay down as well. That is happening on my eye and it may have gotten a little bit of dust in the protrusion. So I need to try to stay away from dust and just keep on going.
I am so very thankful that my headaches have been doing so well, though! They haven't flared so much after really busy days which is amazing! My body can't keep up, though, so I still get sick feeling and wiped out. However, I can see that although I am not nearly as strong as I should be, I have definitely made progress. My wheelchair hasn't been out for me in about eight months. That is good news!
My family continues to make progress. Kylie is having more problems with reflux so she is having testing done for that. She had a procedure done today to scope her esophagus, etc., and is struggling with nausea now. Tanner eagerly awaits going to Pennsylvania for college. The younger two are growing older and that is interesting at times! It feels like we have four teenagers in the house now although that is not technically chronologically true. :)
Blessings to all that continue to read this blog! I've had several people comment to me in person about not writing so I thought today would be a good time for a little update.
My eye continues to heal. A week or two ago it started becoming a little more irritated and red so I finally went in today to check it out. Nothing serious thankfully. I have to start the prescription drops again for a week and see what happens. I thought that maybe a stitch was starting to protrude again because there is a bump on my eye. However, it is just how my eye is healing. If you think about how a scar sometimes heals on your arm, for example, it will sometimes have rough spots that don't lay down as well. That is happening on my eye and it may have gotten a little bit of dust in the protrusion. So I need to try to stay away from dust and just keep on going.
I am so very thankful that my headaches have been doing so well, though! They haven't flared so much after really busy days which is amazing! My body can't keep up, though, so I still get sick feeling and wiped out. However, I can see that although I am not nearly as strong as I should be, I have definitely made progress. My wheelchair hasn't been out for me in about eight months. That is good news!
My family continues to make progress. Kylie is having more problems with reflux so she is having testing done for that. She had a procedure done today to scope her esophagus, etc., and is struggling with nausea now. Tanner eagerly awaits going to Pennsylvania for college. The younger two are growing older and that is interesting at times! It feels like we have four teenagers in the house now although that is not technically chronologically true. :)
Blessings to all that continue to read this blog! I've had several people comment to me in person about not writing so I thought today would be a good time for a little update.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Tuesday
Time continues to speed by. I went back for a post-op appointment on Monday morning. My eye had been quite irritated and red yet so I suspected that a stitch may need to be taken care of. Sure enough, there was one stitch lower in my eye and another up in the top of my eye that both needed to be snipped and pulled out. It sounds awful to have stitches in your eyeball snipped and pulled out! Since it is numb I didn't feel so much with the higher stitch but the one in my lower eye did hurt a little more. Really not so bad, though, and it feels so much better having them out!
The best news is that my head still seems to be doing pretty well! Yes, I still have a headache, but it is now more of a minor irritation most of the time rather than in the forefront. What a blessing! The ophthalmologist tested my eyes and he was quite pleased that my headaches were doing so much better and that the correction he was seeking was right on. He is hoping that I will not need to wear the lenses, too! That would just be icing on the cake! :)
It sounds like there have only been a small handful that have had this surgery for this type of correction. Each of the us have had very successful results. He said that he and a few other doctors are working on this together and hope to take in nationally! Amazing that this type of cutting edge treatment is originating right in Sioux Falls!
So now I pray that the Lord doesn't have any more unique or otherwise weird things to reveal about my body malfunctioning. I seem to be one of the very unique creatures of God that has about the most unlikely things happen. So praying that these trials may subside for a very long time!
The best news is that my head still seems to be doing pretty well! Yes, I still have a headache, but it is now more of a minor irritation most of the time rather than in the forefront. What a blessing! The ophthalmologist tested my eyes and he was quite pleased that my headaches were doing so much better and that the correction he was seeking was right on. He is hoping that I will not need to wear the lenses, too! That would just be icing on the cake! :)
It sounds like there have only been a small handful that have had this surgery for this type of correction. Each of the us have had very successful results. He said that he and a few other doctors are working on this together and hope to take in nationally! Amazing that this type of cutting edge treatment is originating right in Sioux Falls!
So now I pray that the Lord doesn't have any more unique or otherwise weird things to reveal about my body malfunctioning. I seem to be one of the very unique creatures of God that has about the most unlikely things happen. So praying that these trials may subside for a very long time!
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Wednesday
I woke up Tuesday morning and realized right away that there was a problem. My left eye that had the surgery was swelled half shut and very red. My eyelid was swelled and it looked wrong. We assumed that I had an infection in my eye and were instructed to call right away with those types of symptoms.
Thankfully the doctor didn't think it is infected. Two stitches that are helping to hold the white tissue in place were poking out a bit. He said that this causes a great deal of irritation on the eye and eye lid. So after numbing my eye he attempted to pull them out. They didn't come out so he pulled them a bit and and clipped them off. Since my eye was numb I didn't feel much and the light was so bright in that eye that I couldn't see which is best. :) When the numbing solution wore off I could tell right away that it was much less abrasive to blink.
The surgery is considered successful. I am slightly cross-eyed which they planned. The muscle will gradually tighten so they prefer that it be a little over corrected to start. I can tell the muscle in that eye is very weak because it is harder to stay focused in that eye and it is harder to look around staying focused. That will come with time.
My head has been feeling considerably better! The primary goal so far seems to be in sight. If I do to much with my eyes I get a little more headache-y but I think that would be normal for anyone. So we continue on!
Thankfully the doctor didn't think it is infected. Two stitches that are helping to hold the white tissue in place were poking out a bit. He said that this causes a great deal of irritation on the eye and eye lid. So after numbing my eye he attempted to pull them out. They didn't come out so he pulled them a bit and and clipped them off. Since my eye was numb I didn't feel much and the light was so bright in that eye that I couldn't see which is best. :) When the numbing solution wore off I could tell right away that it was much less abrasive to blink.
The surgery is considered successful. I am slightly cross-eyed which they planned. The muscle will gradually tighten so they prefer that it be a little over corrected to start. I can tell the muscle in that eye is very weak because it is harder to stay focused in that eye and it is harder to look around staying focused. That will come with time.
My head has been feeling considerably better! The primary goal so far seems to be in sight. If I do to much with my eyes I get a little more headache-y but I think that would be normal for anyone. So we continue on!
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